


Million Reasons

by jamesilver



Series: A Kylux Playlist [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, hux is rich its not a suprise, please tws in the notes, wine drunk hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 01:48:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15159755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesilver/pseuds/jamesilver
Summary: It was a relationship unlike any he had ever been in. He never wanted to be without Kylo. And it wasn't like some frantic need, but rather something he knew that he could do but just didn't want to. It was love. That's what it was.At first, it had freaked him out. Love presents as a strange sort of dependency when you don't know what you're looking for. But after worrying about their relationship being unhealthy, Hux realized he still had his autonomy and his individuality, he just wanted to be himself with Kylo.Well apparently the feeling wasn't fucking mutual.





	Million Reasons

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is part of a series that takes songs and creates inspired fics using parts of the song. This specific fic was based off of Lady Gaga's Million Reasons and I do not own the rights to any lyrics I possibly used, or any of the characters used. I am not making any money off of this whatsoever so please don't sue me. 
> 
> Playlist will be linked in end notes. 
> 
> \--poe and kylo own a bar together just for reference--
> 
> PLEASE READ::TRIGGER WARNINGS::  
> \--there is an abusive relationship but it's only really mentioned  
> \--tw abuse mention (side relationship mitaka x oc)  
> \--tw attempted sexual assault mention (side relationship mitaka x oc)  
> \--tw physical assault but not in the domestic relationship  
> \--one more but it is a spoiler so see the end notes for that

The floor was cold. Not shockingly so but in the kind of way that when his bare skin slid up against it, it grounded him in reality a bit more than he had been in the past few minutes.  
  
Still, it was cold.  
  
He was so lost. He didn’t know what to do or where to go from here. What was he supposed to say? Supposed to think?  
  
Hux heard Kylo’s large body thudding up against the door from the other side, sliding down no doubt to a position that mirrored Hux’s exactly. It made him want to move. He didn’t even want to be sharing the same section of wall with that man right now.  
  
His skin felt slimy, like he had been dipped in a pool skimmed with grime. There were things in that argument....  
  
Hux shook his head, trying to clear those thoughts. Kylo had kept saying that he didn’t know what he had done wrong but that was absolute bullshit. Not knowing that it was “wrong” to not use a coaster in Hux’s home is the kind of thing that’s okay back when they started dating. But this? Kylo committed a wrong universally recognized as wrong in relationships. What he meant by “I don’t know what I did wrong” was actually “I don’t know what you know” and that was disgusting. He kept acting like he could fool Hux. Like if he just kept playing at innocent for a while longer, Hux would give up and let the whole thing go.  
  
But Hux knew what he saw that day. He knew what happened.  
  
He wasn’t fucking stupid.  
  
The door shifted a bit as Kylo moved on the other side of it and Hux jumped as if burned, deciding to stand now. He couldn’t be around that man. Doing what he did was one thing, but lying about it and pretending like Hux wouldn’t _know_ ? That was unforgivable. It meant he wasn’t even sorry.  
  
Hux walked over to the shower, flicking it on and beginning to peel his clothes off. They were sticking to him slightly; the fight had been so intense that there was sweat dripping down his body. So much screaming...he was sure his voice would be raw.  
  
From the other side of the door, Hux heard Kylo’s deep voice rumble as he said something but between the wall separating them and the sounds of the shower, Hux didn’t hear it. And he didn’t want to. Whatever Kylo could have said meant nothing to Hux. Not now. Not anymore.  
  
Sliding back the glass door, Hux stepped into the shower, letting the hot stream of water run over him, breathing in the steam. Barely a breath passed before the first sob escaped him and he sank down to the floor of the shower, sitting and letting it wash away his tears as they came. With his back against the wall, he pulled his knees up to his chest, setting his forehead on top of them. How could he have been so stupid? To think that a man like Kylo could love him, could be committed to him? Foolish and blind was all it was.  
  
Well, his eyes were opened now, weren’t they?  
  
But what was he even supposed to do? Because through all of this, even though he knew what an idiot he was being, he still fucking loved him.  
  
He loved him. And how fucking twisted was that?  
  
Hux could sit there all day crying in his love for Kylo but it wouldn’t change what Kylo had _done_ , the way his actions had so clearly cast Hux aside. Kylo didn’t need to say anything about that, either. There was no question. His actions made everything clear so he could lie all he damned pleased. Hux was beyond fucking caring.  
  
At least, that was what he told himself. But, if he was truly beyond caring, he wouldn’t have even started that fight. And that’s what he should have done. Should have told Kylo it was over, grabbed his keys, and walked out. Sent someone around to collect his things from Kylo’s apartment. But, no. He had instead fought for hours and hours and was now curled up on the floor of Kylo’s shower.  
  
Because despite a million fucking reasons to leave, Hux just needed one good one to stay. That was all he needed from Kylo.  
  
It shouldn’t be that simple, but it was. Hux knew it _should_ take more than an apology and a promise of it never happening again, but he didn’t want to leave Kylo. And it wasn’t like he would be a wreck without him. This had nothing to do with some sort of unstable codependency like some couples. No.  
  
No, the matter was that Hux didn’t _want_ to leave. He didn’t want Kylo to stop being in his life.  
  
Once more, he tilted his head into his hands, taking a struggling deep breath. He didn’t know what to do here, he truly didn’t. There was no way he could just drop this and move on. But that didn’t mean he was going to leave.  
  
Standing, Hux turned off the shower. As the abrupt silence cut into the room, there was a thunk from the other side of the door. It was Kylo. He must have heard the shower turn off.  
  
As Hux slid the door back and began drying himself, he heard Kylo speak clearly from the outside. “Can we please talk about this?”  
  
After throwing on one of Kylo’s shirts and a pair of sweatpants that were lying on the floor of the bathroom, Hux ran his fingers through his hair and opened the door.  
  
Kylo was leaning against the doorframe, face puffy, shoulders slumped. Truly, he looked wrecked.  
  
They were suddenly too close when Hux opened the door, but he was determined to not step back. To not shy away. But he also wasn’t about to step forward, no matter how much the look on Kylo’s face made Hux want to reach out and take him in his arms.  
  
“If you're going to deny what you did, then I don't have anything to say to you." After speaking, Hux watched closely Kylo's reaction.  
  
Hux was shocked. All Kylo looked was sad. Exhausted. Absolutely wrecked by all of this.  
  
"I'm not denying anything. How can I deny it when I don't know what I'm even being accused of? Hux..." Kylo shook his head slowly. "I don't _know_ what I did wrong. Please just tell me."  
  
Like that bullshit was going to work. "You don't get to do that," Hux said. "Absolutely not. You don't get to turn this on me like I'm being the bad guy here, trying to trap you in a corner. That is not what is happening. So don't you dare."  
  
"I'm not, Hux. I genuinely don't know what I could have done to—“  
  
" _Bullshit._ You know exactly what you did. You just don't know for certain whether or not I know or how much I know and you don't want to give yourself away. That's unacceptable. Man up and fucking say it. Say the words and admit what you did." Despite Hux's yelling, Kylo remained where he was, not wanting to argue, not wanting to fight.  
  
His shoulders slumped. "Baby, I don't know what you're talking about. Really. Just tell me. Please, just make it clear. At least give me a chance to defend myself because right now I'm just lost. Please. I don't want to lose you."  
  
Kyle's eyes looked so sad and it almost made Hux reconsider. But, no. Kylo was a lying, dirty, little—  
  
"Maybe you should have thought about how much you don't want to lose me before you did what you did. Now," Hux turned, making to slip past Kylo, but the larger man moved out of his way, giving no resistance for Hux to slip past. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to head home because I don't want to be in the presence of such a _liar._ You know," Hux stopped, pivoting back to face Kylo with his sunken shoulders and sad eyes. "You're worse than a liar. This isn't just lying. It's manipulating. So you can stop with this whole sad 'I-don't-want-to-lose-you' act because it's not fooling me. If you actually cared about me you wouldn't have—“ Hux took a deep breath. "And if you did, you sure as hell wouldn't have lied to me about it instead of trying to fix it."  
  
With that, Hux gathered up the things that he would need, double checked to make sure he had his phone and keys, and threw open the door to Kylo's apartment. He didn't even spare a glance back as he walked straight out into the hallway.  
  
The door latched behind him and Hux didn't pause, making straight for the elevator. All he could do was tell himself to just hold it together a little while longer until he could—  
  
The elevator door dinged open and he walked in, frantically pressing the 'door close' button. The doors slid shut and he just stood there for a moment. He didn't press the button for the first floor, didn't move. Just willed himself to not go running back to Kylo. Not right now. Not tonight.  
  
He pressed the button and the elevator began moving down.  
  
It was like as he continued down, he could feel his heart being ripped out of his chest in order to stay up on the fifth floor with Kylo. He couldn't do this. What was he thinking? Frantically, he grabbed at his chest, trying to slow his breathing. He didn't want this, of course he didn't. All Hux wanted was to be wrapped up in Kylo's arms right now as he was every night, safe and sound in his boyfriend's large arms, in his boyfriend's large bed, but this was it. This was the fucking line.  
  
Sure, they had gone through some shit in their relationship, but Hux had always come back. Kylo had always come back. They both hurt each other, said things, but they made it through. Always. That is what couples do. But this time....  
  
No. Hux wasn't going to let himself be pulled back into a relationship with a man who fucking cheated on him and didn't have the damn decency to even admit it.  
  
The elevator doors opened and Hux walked out into the night, hailing a cab to take him back to his apartment. When he got in, he was too emotionally distraught from the entire situation to even be too bothered by the disgusting smell coming from the back of the cab. Like it fucking mattered. Did anything matter?  
  
This whole thing with Kylo cheating on him made him view the entire relationship in a different light. Was anything real? Had any of it been real? Or was Kylo just really that damn good of a liar? And how long had this been going on? That was what Hux really wanted to know. The memory of what he had seen was still burnt so clearly in Hux's mind.  
  
Hux had gone over to Kylo's early, intending to surprise him and make the two of them a nice dinner. He had just gotten onto Kylo's floor when he saw a half naked man be thrown out of Kylo's apartment. He was drunk and shirtless, holding his jeans and shoes in his hand, hair sloppy down his forehead. Muscular. Tan. Gorgeous. And he was shouting at the door, pounding on it, saying, "Baby, please. Don't be like this, baby. We can work it out. Come on, baby."  
  
Hux couldn't shake that memory, the words that the man said. From the sound of it, it wasn't even just a one-off. That was the sound of a long-term relationship, which meant that Kylo had been cheating on Hux for a while and it wasn't even just physical, but also emotional. And that just made shit even worse, didn't it?  
  
Just thinking about it over again made Hux want to be sick. Who was that man? What did he have that Hux didn’t?  
  
Hux hadn't even stayed around to see what happened next, rather turned and left immediately. He couldn't see Kylo right then, couldn't talk to him.  
  
That was three days ago.  
  
Kylo knew something was up, obviously, by Hux's lack of communication and asked Hux over to talk about what was wrong. And then, Kylo had refused to even pretend like he knew what Hux was upset about. It was so clear. After all, if you're cheating on someone and then you have a public-ish fight at your home with the other man and from that point forward your partner is acting strange and upset with you, isn't it very clear that your partner found out?  
  
Hux was sure it was. Kylo knew what he did and he knew Hux knew. There was no other explanation for it. He just didn't care that much.  
  
The cab came to a stop and Hux handed the driver the money, stepping out and making for home quickly. He just wanted this night to be over.  
  
__________  
  
When the door clicked shut behind Hux, everything in Kylo was just...numb. He didn't know what to do.  
  
After a few seconds, he elected to not go after Hux right now. Clearly, something was up and he refused to tell Kylo. That wasn't going to change right now. He would just have to keep working at it later. For now, at least, Kylo supposed he should wrack his brain trying to figure out what he could have done to upset Hux so much.  
  
After sitting on his couch for a good fifteen minutes, he really hadn't come up with much. Which was, to say the least, surprising because Hux was generally pissed off about a lot of things. But as Kylo analyzed all that had happened in the past couple of weeks, he realized most of it was external.  
  
Thinking about it all actually made Kylo kind of smile because made him realize that when Hux was having trouble with everything else in the world, he would go to Kylo. Kylo was his sanctuary from the world.  
  
So the question was, what the fuck had happened?  
  
Hux had started acting weird in the last few days: three, maybe four? In that time, Kylo had just been going about business as usual: work at the bar, working on his art. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. Then, three days ago, Hux was supposed to come over that night around seven, but he was a no-show.  
  
Kylo squinted trying to remember that night.  
  
He had taken a break from balancing the books at the bar around five and was checking up on his employees. And then all that shit happened with his bartender Mitaka and then the crazy asshole dude in his apartment, but that was all over well before seven rolled around. There was just no explanation for Hux's no-show.  
  
So, Kylo began thinking back even earlier than that. Maybe there was something he had done the day before? But they hadn't even seen each other that day, if Kylo recalled correctly. That's why they had both made such a point of meeting at seven the other day; Hux had been so busy and flustered at the office that they had scheduled a quiet date. There was literally nothing Kylo could have possibly done in that time.  
  
He even took out his phone and reread through all of their texts in the days leading up to Hux acting weird and...nothing. For the last three days, though, the change was evident. It was a lot of Kylo asking what was wrong and Hux responding with cryptic things like, "I know what you did, so don't pretend that I don't," and "Don't lie to me. You know what you did." Kylo couldn't make sense of any of it.  
  
This was the most confusing chapter in his entire relationship with Hux and that was saying something because the man was just impossible.  
  
Kylo ran a hand down his face, sighing and slumping back deeper into the couch. He took a moment to sit with his eyes closed and breathe.  
  
Shaking his head, he blew out another sigh and sat up. This situation wasn't going to fix itself and Hux wasn't exactly being helpful.  
  
Picking up his phone, Kylo dialed the number of Hux's best friend, Phasma. She answered on the second ring, giving him barely enough time to think about what to say.  
  
"You better have a damn good reason for calling because if Hux finds out I'm in cahoots with the enemy, I'll be blacklisted for sure," was how she greeted the phone.  
  
Kylo was the enemy? What was that supposed to mean? He shook his head, continuing on. "Phasma, you've got to help me."  
  
"And why should I do that? You're absolute scum." Her words sounded harsh, but her tone was fairly detached. It was like she was only saying it to make clear that she was on Hux's side.  
  
"Look, I know we've never liked each other that much, but clearly you know that Hux is currently pissed at me. There's only one problem: I have no idea why."  
  
There was a pause from the other end of the line and Kylo stood up, beginning to pace.  
  
"You know," Phasma began. "When Hux first told me what you did, I was upset. Rightly so, of course. He is my best friend. But, to tell you the truth, I didn't really care that much? It's not my relationship and I'm not sensitive to that sort of thing. But Hux is. And as his best friend, I am firmly on his side. But that didn't mean I hated you or thought you were an absolute monster. But now? Are you _seriously_ telling me that you don't know what you did because even I draw the line there and say that you are definitively a terrible person. So I want you to stop and think and if you still don't know then that just means that you clearly can't tell right from wrong and in that case you better keep yourself away from Hux or I will come find you and make you stay away. Do I make myself clear?"  
  
Kylo stood in the middle of his apartment, jaw hanging open at Phasma's words. What the fuck? Clearly, there was something going on here. Phasma was a level-headed person. She wouldn't just blow up on Kylo without a reason. And, considering there _was no_ reason, Kylo just had to assume this was some sort of misunderstanding.  
  
But how the fuck was he supposed to figure it out if no one would tell him what the fucking problem was?  
  
__________  
  
Hux was sitting on the floor of his kitchen, wine bottle in his hand. Smearing his hand across his face, he checked the time. Phasma should be here any minute. She always knew what to do in a situation like this. Because Hux...he just didn't. He was so lost. What the fuck was he expected to do here? He figured that he could forgive Kylo eventually for what he did, but if he wouldn't even admit it, how would they ever move past this? How _could_ they?  
  
The door creaked open in the other room and Phasma called out for him.  
  
"In here," he responded, feeling like all of the energy was drained from his body.  
  
She entered the kitchen, dropping her purse on the counter and then leaning up against it, one hand against her hip as she raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"What are you gonna do?"  
  
Shrugging, Hux took a sip of wine and then pulled it back and looked at the bottle. "Well, I was thinking of making a trip to the liquor store; I don't usually keep anything hard around and wine is really not doing the trick tonight."  
  
Now, Phasma crossed her arms, standing up straight. "I meant about Kylo. Are you going to dump his cheating arse?" Hux remained silent. He didn't know the answer to that question. "Hux?" Phasma asked, beginning to cross the room to him. When she reached him, she nudged him with her foot. "You can't just sit here and wallow in self-pity. Make a decision. Dump him."  
  
"It's like," Hux began, licking his lips and looking up, now. "It's like I have a million reasons to leave, yeah? He just keeps piling them on. The lies are just too much to sort through these days and that's coming from me. I don't know what to believe anymore. But, through all of this, I just need one good reason to stay and I will. I would drop it all for him."  
  
Phasma sighed before sinking down to the floor next to him, taking the wine bottle from his hand and taking a swig. "I think that's a little unhealthy, don't you?"  
  
Hux rested his head on her shoulder. "Sometimes I wonder about that. But, honestly, I feel like he's my soulmate or something stupid like that." Hux felt her pull back from him, lifting his head as she spun to face him.  
  
"How much have you had to drink? Are you wine drunk? Did you seriously just say that?" Hux remained silent until she grabbed his shoulder. "Hux, do you love him?"  
  
He glanced up at the ceiling, scoffing a pathetic laugh. "Yeah. I do. I love him." He met her eyes, trying to mentally deny that they were welling with tears. "That makes this all hurt that much more. I love him. Not only does he have no idea, but he doesn't give a shit. What am I supposed to do here, Phasma?"  
  
Her hand dropped from his shoulder and she put her back against the wall again. In response, Hux rested his head on her shoulder again. "I don't know, Hux. I don't know what to tell you. But you have to talk to him."  
  
Voice low, feeling broken, Hux said, "He says he doesn't know what he did. He refuses to admit it."  
  
"Yeah, I know. That's what he said when called me."  
  
Hux raised his head to look at her. "When did he call you?"  
  
"When I was on my way over here. He wanted to see if I knew what he had done. Still attesting that he doesn't know."  
  
Shaking it off, he dropped his head again. "I think I'm going to sleep on all of this before I go see him again."  
  
Phasma placed a kiss on the top of his head. "Sorry you have to deal with this, kiddo. Let's get you to bed." Hux readily agreed and allowed his friend to take care of him.  
  
The next morning, Hux shooed Phasma out the door, promising her that he would go and talk to Kylo today. But as soon as the door was shut behind her, he walked straight back to his bed and crashed down. He didn't want to have to go talk to Kylo. Not now, not ever. Didn't want to have to hear him give some bullshit excuse that he made up.  
  
Didn't want to have to break things off.  
  
Lifting up the covers, Hux slid under them, tucking an arm beneath his pillow and turning on his side. And, he knew it was pathetic, but he pulled his phone up to his face and clicked to his photos app.  
  
Hundreds of photos of him and Kylo, so happy. How could Kylo have thrown it all away? And at what point?  
  
They had been dating for almost a year. Well, maybe Hux couldn't quite say that because when things started off it was casual, but it had slowly fallen into what it was now: a relationship. Hux had been going on with his life, labelling Kylo in his mind as an extended hook-up and then he woke up one morning in Kylo's bed to the smell of frying eggs and the sound of Kylo's bad singing and realized it was so much more than that.  
  
And that was when the photos started. Cute, sappy, boyfriend things like photos of kisses and dates, dinners and breakfasts. Lots of Kylo innocently curled up with Millicent while vehemently denying even liking the cat (which was an absolute lie because there were countless times when Hux heard Kylo cooing at the cat when he thought Hux wasn't around). They were a couple and they both knew it.  
  
And here Hux was, thinking that they were both in love.  
  
Like a fucking idiot.  
  
Because apparently things weren't that way for Kylo. They couldn't have been if he was so willing to drop it all for some attractive man. Now, it was like each picture Hux looked at wasn't the same. One of Kylo sitting on a park bench with an ice cream cone. Hux looked at it and wondered if he had already slept with that other man. Had they already met?  
  
A picture that Kylo had taken on Hux's phone after Hux fell asleep on his chest. Hux had always loved that one—secretly—but now Kylo's light smile just felt like a lie.  
  
How could he do such a thing?  
  
Hux had thought they were so happy. In fact, if someone would have asked him if he thought Kylo would ever do such a thing, he would be able to calmly think it through and answer no. No, of course Kylo would never. It had always been so evident in his actions how much he loved Hux, even if neither had ever said it.  
  
And probably what shocked Hux the most was that he didn't see it coming. Because he always did. He never let his guard down in relationships, even with the other men he had fallen in love with. He always saw the shit coming. But with Kylo? Hux didn't even know how he had allowed himself to get this way. It's like he was sitting here, blushing because he was accidentally envisioning a _life_ with Kylo who was probably reaching under the table to text some piece of ass that—  
  
Hux threw his phone across the room. He couldn't do it anymore. It was like watching his life fall apart.  
  
Burying his face in the pillow, he wondered how he let himself get so dependent on Kylo. It was a relationship unlike any he had ever been in. He never wanted to be _without_ Kylo. And it wasn't like some frantic need, but rather something he knew that he could do but just didn't want to. It was love. That's what it was.  
  
At first, it had freaked him out. Love presents as a strange sort of dependency when you don't know what you're looking for. But after worrying about their relationship being unhealthy, Hux realized he still had his autonomy and his individuality, he just wanted to be himself _with_ Kylo.  
  
Well apparently the feeling wasn't fucking mutual.  
  
It wasn't long before he crashed and fell back into the world of his dreams.  
  
__________  
  
“Hey, it’s all gonna be okay,” Kylo comforted, feeling awkward as Mitaka sat in his office, sobbing. It wasn’t like Kylo knew what to do in this situation.  
  
He had been working at the bar, checking up on his employees when that guy from the other day had walked in. That blonde asshole that was now Mitaka’s ex boyfriend. Emphasis on the _ex_ because he was a drunk, abusive asshole. Mitaka had come into work a few days ago looking an absolute wreck both physically and emotionally so Kylo had taken him across the street and up to his apartment to calm him down, get him cleaned up. At that point, Mitaka had refused to tell Kylo what was going on.  
  
Then, the “boyfriend” had shown up.  
  
Another of the bartenders, Poe, had told the seemingly polite man where Mitaka was and the asshole had come up to Kylo’s apartment. He had knocked on the door, talking very nicely and asked to speak to Dopheld. So, Kylo let him in and let them talk. In hindsight, he shouldn’t have done that.  
  
Next thing Kylo knew, Mitaka had been screaming and Kylo had to run into the other room and physically pull the half naked man off of Mitaka and throw him out of the apartment. It was after that that Mitaka had told him just how abusive his boyfriend was being.  
  
Fast forward to a few minutes ago, said blonde asshole had shown up at the bar. Mitaka had begun freaking out, so Kylo took him back into his office while Poe wrestled the guy out to the street and told him to stay out. Now it was up to Kylo to try and calm the poor kid down.  
  
"It's all gonna be okay, Dopheld. We're gonna take care of it and—“  
  
A near hyperventilating Mitaka cut him off. "I have to leave everything. I have to leave my entire life behind. He knows where I work, where I live. I have to leave everything and move to a new city, change my name, I—“  
  
"Okay, okay." Kylo stepped forward, placing his hands on Mitaka's shoulders. "Look me in the eyes and take a few deep breaths. It's gonna be okay. Yes, you should probably change your number at the very least, but I guarantee you'll be fine here. Poe or I or both will always be around if that guy comes in. If he starts showing up at your apartment, let me know and we'll figure something out, okay? As for tonight, Poe can drive you home and make sure you get in safe, okay?"  
  
Mitaka nodded feebly. “Thank you,” he muttered.  
  
“Of course,” Kylo replied. “Why don’t you stay back here for a bit, okay? Take a few deep breaths.” Again, another small nod.  
  
Kylo slipped out of the room, pulling the door shut behind him. Immediately, Poe caught his eye.  
  
“How’s he doing?” Poe asked.  
  
“He’s freaking out. Could you give him a ride home tonight? Make sure he gets in safe and all?”  
  
Poe nodded. “Yeah, man. Of course.”  
  
Kylo approached the bar where Poe was standing. “I’d do it but I’ve got to try and sort this shit out with Hux.” Planting his elbows on the bar top, Kylo ran his fingers through his hair.  
  
“Oh, shit, yeah. You mentioned that. What’s going on? You figured out what you did yet?”  
  
“No!” Kylo let his hands flop on the bar as he slid onto one of the stools. “I have no idea what the problem is and he’s convinced I do and that I just don’t want to admit it because I don’t know how much he knows. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Kylo groaned. “I know I’m not a perfect boyfriend, but I try my best and I can’t—for the life of me—figure out what has him so upset.”  
  
“Yeah, that’s a tough one, bud.” Poe shrugged.  
  
“Oh, shut up,” Kylo laughed. “You never liked him anyway.”  
  
“He’s so uptight. This just proves it.”  
  
“Yeah, well....You’ll be happy, then, because I’m pretty sure he’s gonna break up with me.”  
  
Poe reached out and clapped a hand on Kylo’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, man.”  
  
Running his hands through his hair, Kylo cleared his throat. “I love him. Did you know that? I am headed-over-heels for him.”  
  
Poe laid his elbows on the bar top across from Kylo’s. “No. You never told me that. Did you tell him?”  
  
Surprising himself, Kylo laughed. “No. He has no idea. Too afraid to tell him.”  
  
“Well, I think that may get you closer to ending this fight. At least—“ Poe cut off as the main door chimed.  
  
Both turned to look and immediately Kylo was out of his seat. “Poe, he’s in the back,” Kylo muttered before heading to confront Mitaka’s drunk ex boyfriend.  
  
__________  
  
Hux wasn’t even paying attention as he walked through Kylo’s apartment, picking up things strewn about that were his. His shoes by the door, his cast iron skillet, his pea coat. Every piece of the apartment had some sort of memory attached to it.  
  
It all just reminded Hux that he was doing the right thing because despite all of the memories of happy times, he also saw the other things.  
  
There was a small stand next to the door of the apartment. It used to have a small lamp on it until about a month ago when Hux had thrown it against a wall during a fight. In the medicine cabinet next to Hux’s toothbrush—which he threw in his bag—there was gauze leftover from when Hux had to wrap Kylo’s bloodied knuckles after Kylo had decided to pick a fight with Brendol. At the time, Hux had been honored. Brendol had gotten what he deserved. But, looking back, Hux knew it wasn’t exactly healthy to date someone who beat up your father.  
  
And on top of everything in their past, now Kylo was cheating on him.  
  
So, Hux convinced himself it was for the best. It was just like everyone said about them: they were volatile—a grenade with the pin already pulled. And Hux had to do this. He had to get out of this relationship, only focus on the bad.  
  
Instead, he was staring at the couch in Kylo’s apartment, remembering all the times they had lain there together to watch movies, cozy together under the blankets, Hux’s back pressed against Kylo’s chest. It almost made him stop because didn’t all relationships have bad fights? It wasn’t like Hux threw the lamp _at_ Kylo. He threw it in the other direction, out of anger. And, sure, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to date someone who threw a punch at your father but Hux would rather have that than someone who stood idly by while Hux’s father berated him. Not to mention that Brendol deserved it.  
  
And everywhere he looked in this damn apartment there were memories.  
  
Hux’s breath started coming in shorter bursts, his chest feeling tight. He couldn’t  do this. Their relationship wasn’t perfect by any means, but no one’s was. And Hux had never been this in love before. Hux had never _wanted_ someone like this before. If it was just lust, Hux could walk away. But it was so much more than that.  
  
He missed him.  
  
With a shaky breath, Hux reached up and smeared the tears across his cheeks. Just because he was in love with Kylo didn’t mean it was mutual. Did that other man also have countless memories when he looked around this apartment? How many places had Hux sat where they had fucked? Did he wonder whose things were around this apartment that clearly weren’t Kylo’s? Or maybe he knew.  
  
Turning, Hux walked to the door. It didn’t matter that there were still some of his things that he hadn’t picked up yet. He couldn’t fucking do this right now.  
  
He was going to head across the street and give Kylo his key back and never see him again. Maybe he would send Phasma around to collect his things, but he would never see Kylo again.  
  
It was the only way he could preserve a part of his heart.  
  
There was a small _ding_ as Hux opened the side door to the bar, but it wasn’t loud enough to get anyone’s attention with what was going on.  
  
The man from the hallway—the other man—was there, his yelling assaulting Hux’s ears as soon as he stepped inside.  
  
“—don’t know what the fucking problem is! Just let me talk to my fucking boyfriend and—“  
  
“He’s not your boyfriend anymore!” Hux’s attention was drawn over to Poe who was standing a bit away, next to a crying Mitaka.  
  
Kylo was between the two, arms crossed across his chest. “It’s not worth it, man,” he said to the angry blonde in front. “Just walk away. Trust me, you don’t want to do this. Poe and I are both pretty big guys. We break up bar fights all the time. Leave Mitaka alone.”  
  
Relief washed over Hux. He didn’t have all the details yet, of course, but he had heard enough to piece together that there had been a terrible misunderstanding.  
  
That relief, however, was quickly gone as the blonde man took a few quick steps towards Kylo, face red. He shoved a pointed finger in Kylo’s face as he yelled.  
  
Hux didn’t even take note of what he was saying, only able to hear Kylo calmly speaking over him, saying, “Sir, step away from me or this is going to get physical. Take a step back or I will make you leave the premises. Sir, this is your last warning before this gets physical.” The man’s yelling stopped and he straightened up, seeming to understand that Kylo’s threats were legitimate.  
  
The room palpably relaxed, thinking the worst of it was over and that the man was going to give it up and leave.  
  
In a flash, the blonde turned, right arm lifted in a fist, and hit Kylo square across the jaw.  
  
Kylo didn’t even stumble backwards and when Kylo turned back towards the guy, he was already backing up. Kylo reached out and grabbed a fistful of the front of the man’s shirt. With a few steps, Kylo slammed the man’s back against a wall, their faces close.  
  
“I suggest you leave now,” Kylo said, his tone low before releasing the man and taking a few steps back.  
  
“Fuck you!” The guy spit. “I’m gonna put you out of a job. You and your crappy little shithole of a bar are going under! In a matter of _weeks_ I’m going to own this bar and there’s nothing that any of you can do about it!”  
  
“Oh?” Hux spoke up from his position by the side door. It drew the attention of everyone in the room and they all turned to him. “You and what money?“  
  
The man laughed. “I’m a fucking billionaire! CEO of Thastle Inc.. Say goodbye to your precious bar, assholes. That’s what you get for assaulting me. You’re lucky I don’t put you in jail for that.”  
  
Hux pulled out his phone and sent a text to his assistant, even more intrigued now. “Isn’t Thastle Inc. in the process of being absolved into First Order Industries?”  
  
“We are. But, don’t worry, I have it on good authority that I’ll be keeping my position as CEO of Thastle as a separate operating—“  
  
“Actually, I think the merger just became a hostile takeover. In addition, you can expect law enforcement at your office in the coming week to investigate your embezzlement. Don’t worry; they probably won’t hang around there long because I’m certain my lawyers will have compiled enough evidence to convince them already. It won’t be difficult considering your monthly salary is about fifty grand and you’ve only been CEO for about five years, meaning you should be nowhere near a billionaire but we’ve actually already found evidence that you are, considering the mansion and twenty cars that you own.”  
  
The man looks at him. “What the fuck? Who are you? You have no right to say any of that.” Then, the man looked down as his phone began ringing in his pocket. Hux waited, watching his face crumble as he read the text from one of his employees informing him that FOI was now absolving all that Thastle owned and ejecting him as CEO.  
  
“I assume you’ll be arrested within the week. My lawyers work fast. And don’t worry; when you get out I’ll have already made certain that you’ll never be hired by any corporation that exists on the _globe_ because they are all smart enough to know that you don’t want to incur the wrath of Armitage Hux, as you just did by punching my boyfriend.”  
  
There was silence in the room as it suddenly dawned on the man who he was talking to and he made the connection that Hux and Kylo were together.  
  
Once more, Kylo said, “I suggest you leave.”  
  
“You’ll probably need to call your lawyer and give them an advance on their fees for the coming trial. Good lawyers don’t work for free and your accounts will likely be frozen soon.” He paused, waiting for the man to turn and leave, save a last little bit of his pride. When he didn’t move, shocked, Hux said, “Run along, now.”  
  
The man turned and walked out the front door and Hux turned back towards Kylo, who was already walking to him. Hux decided to meet him in the middle, noting that he should be doing that more often.  
  
“Baby,” Kylo started.  
  
Hux held up his hand, his key to Kylo’s apartment between his fingers. Kylo stopped short when he saw it.  
  
“I came here to give this to you,” Hux said.  
  
“No, no, baby, please,” Kylo said. “Please don’t leave me. Whatever is going on, we can work it out. We can talk about it and we can _fix it,_ Hux, I promise we can—“  
  
“I think I’ll keep it,” Hux said.  
  
“Really?” Kylo asked, hope in his voice.  
  
“We should talk,” was all Hux said in response. “So that was?” Hux asked, indicating the direction of the front door where the man just left.  
  
“That was Mitaka’s abusive ex.”  
  
Ah, so more pieces of the puzzle were fitting together.  
  
“Well, Mitaka,” Hux said. “You don’t have to worry; he’ll be headed to prison soon. It was very clear based on his financial records the amounts to which he was embezzling. It’s quite easy to find if you know what you’re looking for and they’re not good at it. Which I don’t understand at all because it’s so easy to do well enough that you won’t get caught.”  
  
Three sets of eyebrows were raised at him. Hux scoffed. “Don’t give me that look; I don’t embezzle; I just watched my father do it enough that I could if I wanted to.”  
  
“Well if it’s so easy to do without being caught,” Poe said. “Then why don’t you?”  
  
“It’s not like I’m rich for the money.”  
  
Poe laughed. “Then why are you rich?”  
  
“The power? The status? The ‘fuck you’ to my father? Pick one.”  
  
Still laughing, Poe turned away, back to Mitaka who was now starting to calm down. The two walked over to sit down and Hux looked back to Kylo.  
  
“So, are we okay?” Kylo asked.  
  
“No,” Hux answered and Kylo’s face fell. “I have to apologize.”  
  
“Ah,” Kylo said. “Was it all a big misunderstanding like I said it probably was?”  
  
Hux scrunched up his nose, not wanting to admit that Kylo was right. “Let’s just say that in the future I’ll be communicating a bit more.”  
  
Kylo laughed. “I fucking knew it.”  
  
“ _In my defense_ the conclusion that I drew was logical.”  
  
Smiling, Kylo came closer to him. “And what was that conclusion? What happened?”  
  
Unable to take it any longer, Hux threw his arms around Kylo’s neck. As Kylo’s arms wrapped around him as well and Hux could smell Kylo’s shampoo, tears began to well up in his eyes. “You have no idea how hellish my last few days have been,” Hux whispered. “I thought you were cheating on me.”  
  
Hux felt Kylo hold him tighter at that. “Oh, baby,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”  
  
When Hux pulled back, Kylo cupped his face in his hands. “Baby, that must have been so hard for you. I’m so sorry.” Kylo paused. “But what made you think that?”  
  
“ _In my defense,_ ” Hux shouted, gesturing towards the door. “An almost naked man was thrown from your apartment when I showed up early to surprise you. It made logical sense with the situation but I just—“ He let his arm fall back to his side. “It just _didn’t_ make sense because I didn’t think you would do that.”  
  
“I wouldn’t,” Kylo rushed it. “Hux, I am so in love with you. I don’t want anyone else.”  
  
Hux looked back at him with wide eyes, processing for only a second before lunging forward to kiss Kylo. His fingers tangled into Kylo’s hair as he pressed against him with enough force that Kylo stumbled backwards, his hands coming to wrap around Hux’s waist.  
  
Eventually, Hux pulled back with a small gasp, both still in the embrace of the other. “Did you mean that?”  
  
“That I love you?” Kylo clarified.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Yes, I meant it.”  
  
Hux paused, giving Kylo a quick peck. “I love you too. I just kept thinking this entire time, I just felt so pathetic that I was still so in love with you even when I thought you were cheating on me.”  
  
“I’m so sorry, baby. It sounds like you’ve been through hell these last few days.”  
  
Hux rested his forehead against Kylo’s. “You must have been so confused.”  
  
Kylo let out a shaky laugh. “I was. But then I thought you were going to leave me and that didn’t matter anymore.”  
  
For a while, the two stood with each other, both feeling relieved that the chaos of the last few days was over.  
  
Giving Hux a quick kiss on the nose, Kylo pulled back, his hand slipping into Hux’s. “Let me take you to dinner,” he said.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
“Poe!” Kylo called. “Can you manage tonight?”  
  
“Yup!” Came Poe’s response.  
  
Kylo smiled at his boyfriend. “Let’s celebrate that this is all over.”  
  
“Let’s,” Hux said.  
  
Hand in hand, they walked outside, laughing and joking, two lovers on the sidewalk

**Author's Note:**

> the other tw is for infidelity but there isn't any actual infidelity hux just jumps to conclusions and thinks kylo is cheating
> 
> __________
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!! Please feel free to leave a comment and/ or message me on [ tumblr ](https://www.bumblebae8.tumblr.com)
> 
> The kylux playlist is [ here ](https://open.spotify.com/user/jamesilver/playlist/4mErJmNhyJqx2CWsDF6sKs?si=9CSFcCfRQcu2Y08_WAXb9Q)
> 
> Also, feel free to leave any song recommendations for the playlist!! I will continue to write more fics based off of songs and they will be added into this series!!
> 
> I am also currently taking ficlet requests on [ tumblr ](https://www.bumblebae8.tumblr.com)  
> __________
> 
> "i'm not rich for the money" is the most hux thing EVER am i right???
> 
> kylo, when punched: *doesn't stumble*  
> kylo, when kissed: *falls over*
> 
> (wow yikes i hate that ending yikey)


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